What should I know about the cycle of violence?The first violent attack often seems like an isolated event. But in many cases, after the violence first happens the following pattern, or cycle, develops:
Violence happens: hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, use of objects or weapons, sexual abuse, verbal threats and abuse.
A calm period follows the violence: The man may deny the violence, say he is sorry, or promise it will never happen again.
Then slowly tension builds again: anger, arguing, blaming, verbal abuse.
Violence happens again ....
As the violence goes on, the calm period gets shorter and shorter for many couples. As the woman’s will is broken, the man’s control over her becomes so complete that it is no longer necessary for him to make promises that things will get better.
Some women even try to make the violence happen so that it will be over with more quickly, and to get to the calm period sooner.